A Saucerful of Secrets

OY GEVALT!

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 08:35:06 GMT

Whatever chances I had of snagging a loyal reader at journal's start, I've already killed off by not posting for EIGHT FUCKING WEEKS.
However, I'm not so bothered by this.

This journal is less of a thing to show the public proudly and more of a thing to have the public stumble across and recoil back from with a horrified look and an embarrassed flush spreading across their visage.

Not to say that there is anything to be so surprised by.

...Yet.

But I digress! This is really an update, to let the server know not to delete my account, if that sort of thing is practiced around these parts.
An update of what's currently happening in...

~THE MARVELOUS LIFE OF ME~

Coming up with a rapidity that even Hermes would be startled at is school. Yes, school! Succulent, dripping, yielding, nudging, sch--erm. Plain old school. Monday, as it were. I'll be a junior this year, which scares the living crap out of me. I've no plans for college and not even a clear direction of what I'll be doing as an adult. McDonald's, anyone?

That's, uhm. That's it.
All else that's taken place is weight loss and World of Warcraft. They're not mutually exclusive. You forget to feed yourself while playing that game.

Contradictory to the whole idea of a blog, I'll now direct you to read someone else's. Seriously. He's awesome.

http://bannable-offenses.blogspot.com/

Writer's Block: Passionate Eats

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 08:00:18 GMT

What foods do you associate with romance or attraction?

View 500 Answers

(Answered MySpace picture survey style, because that's HOW ALL DA KOOL KIDZ R DOING IT LOLZORZ.)

Spaghetti:

If it works for dogs, it can work for you! This is the dish, and they call it Bella Scrumptious.

Chocolate:

What what, in my heart.

Hot Dogs:

For the obvious.

Pizza:

Because it's the ultimate teenager date food. Italians totally know what they're doing.
Besides, have you SEEN what guys do with pizza on the Internet?
You'd think it belongs in this list too.

Chocolate Strawberries:

These things are automatically sexy. Don't even try to deny it.

More Like Writer's Brick Wall, Am I Right?

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:01:04 GMT

I've been wanting to post on here.

I really have.

But nothing interesting--stupid or otherwise--has come to mind on what to write for a journal entry.

So in the ironic fashion that makes life so interesting, I'm going to mention a TV show I've been watching.
Yes, the very kind I criticized, just about a week ago.

VH1 has a new special called "iLove The New Millennium", featuring the most recent decade: 2000-2010.

Wait, what?

Yeah. I don't really know how they're going to make this one work, considering it's only...what, 2008? 2007? I've lost track of time since I started playing WoW.
Smooth segue into next topic? Yes.

Yes, World of Warcraft.
I currently have a level two Night Elf (or Nelf, because I talk to a nerd in my spare time, albeit a wonderful nerd) Hunter. The name escapes me, because I currently only have logged about two hours since my account creation this past Saturday.

The reason for THAT is my laptop refuses to pick up my wireless router's internet signal, for whatever reason, and WoW is way too intense to run on my mother's (internet capable) eight year old, 448 MB of RAM, crappy, eMachines computer.

What the hell is an eMachine, anyways? Who the hell has heard of those?
More than that, isn't it more like ten years ago that anyone has even used a lowercase "e" in front of anything?
Jesus. This thing is old.

But for now, it serves my purposes. (Those, of course, being to provide me with some less-than-legal entertainment and give me a place to write the shit that nobody cares about.) God bless the Internet and all things capable of accessing it.

That means YOU, Wii, you stupid gimmicky bastard.
I never liked sports before, you think a set of white rectangles will change that?

They just might.

So I Made This "Meez", and...

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:06:33 GMT

Writer's Block: Favorite Lyrics

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 08:27:44 GMT

What song lyrics would you love to have written, and why?

View 506 Answers

Because I can't think of anything else, I'm going to have to say "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd:

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.
Just a little pinprick. [ping]
There'll be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up?
I do believe its working. good.
That'll keep you going for the show.
Come on its time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

I think the main reason I'dve like to have written this song is because I...I don't really understand the full meaning behind it. It could be because I'm a short-sighted person as of now, or it could be that I'm just stupid.
Whatever it is...I'm going to write out what I think the song's all about.

I think the song is speaking about what we become when we are exposed daily, over the years, to the dreary world around us. Not only what we become, but what we're expected to be. How we're expected to behave. To be presentable and dutiful despite all our dreams having faded, all our imagination washed down the drain like so much waste. We're given a pat on the back and an emotional band-aid to our concerns and told to carry on, because that's what a responsible human being should do. What a responsible human being must. Denial becomes key in our daily lives, denying our failures and pains, and, as such, we become numb to the things around us and live in our own shell. Comfortably numb.

(That was probably all a load of tripe, but...hey, I tried.)

Mega Happy List Good Fun Time Super!

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 09:51:10 GMT

This is a list I saved off of MySpace before I deleted it, because I loved it too much to toss it like a sack of mouldy tangerines. It's reposted here from my MySpace blog posthumously for posterity.
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Massive Distraction for Great Success, OR How I Learned to Get Over It
Current mood: calm
Category: Blogging

Entry commencement time: 12:57

Hey! Ho! Hoo-hah!

This is your pilot speaking. I'd just like to report an easy, breezy day I'm going to be having, randomly punctuated by massive throngs of stomach-churning guilt.

Why?

I don't know most of you well enough to tell you that, to be honest.
And those of you that I do know well enough to tell, I'm not going to tell anyways, because I don't like my business getting all mixed around and mucked about. Please don't ask because I really hate to dwell.
Let's just all be clear that it's heavy.
It's heavier than lead, my friends.
(Led Zepplin, anyone?)

Regardless, I'm going to attempt to go through the day like I usually do: "Jiggly! And full of juice." (2005, Invader Zim.)
So, in order to distract myself from the things that are paining me, I'm going to engage myself with something captivating and colorful, as is the wont of my American brethren. (Deny the pain you're in, goddamnit! It's been our national standard since movies were popularized in the Great Depression.)

What might this captivating and colorful thing be, you ask? (It's not nearly as colorful as the adjectives suggest. I'm just a sucker for alliteration.)
I'm going to make LISTS! Yes, lists. For nothing is as popular on the internet as lists. Except, perhaps, polls and pornography.

But I'm being excessive for the sake of alliteration again.

Lists. A list of lists. Top 10 Lists, to be precise. Why the number 10? I find it engagingly binary. But of course, were I to take it literally, my lists would be stupidly short. 2 items is far too short for a list.
(The nerds in the audience make a snorting, giggling sound in agreement.)

Presenting....

JESSICA'S TOP 10 LISTRAVAGANZA!

My Top 10 Favorite TV Shows

10. The Weird Al Show (1997.) Hardly a show so much as it was a failed attempt to spread his genius through the masjesty of multimedia. I blame CBS for ruining what was sure to be a brilliant series. (His looks alone could've kept it running. Rawr.)
9. Pee-Wee's Playhouse (1986-1990.) You may be asking yourself "Why, for the love of god, is THIS TV show on here?!" I'll tell you! First off, I spent a summer commenting on this TV show with someone who means a lot to me. Second, this show was crazy inventive with a wackiness for the ages. Thirdly, it was the partial inspiration for the above show! You just have to watch this show once to see the overwhelming imagination found in it.
8. Alvin and the Chipmunks (1983-1990.) This was the show that I spent my early childhood screeching along to. It's great and it's highly captivating. In fact, I'm watching it right now!
7. The Office (2005-Present.) Awkward moments propell this series into unparalleled heights of hilarity. Simply splendiferous, and Jim is...just so sexy.
6. Robot Chicken (2005-Present.) Stop-motion animation, cheap special effects, sexual/violent humor, and action figures. There is NOTHING about this show that I do not like. If you're creepy like I am, I reccommend watching this ASAP.
5. Digimon (1999-2007.) This show made me cry as a little kid. The adventure, danger, and brightly colored characters! What could be more captivating? I currently have it downloaded onto my laptop. I also currently still have a bit of a "thing" for the season 2 character, Ken Ichijouji. So sue me.
4. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1981.) Wonderful, imaginative, and stuck to the book like a leech to a hemophiliac. Not to mention the theme song is bitchin'.
3. Invader Zim (2001-2006.) Possibly the most twisted and demented children's show ever to air. Jhonen Vasquez outdid himself on this. I regret its cancellation, but Nickelodeon is a money-hungry whore, and Jhonen couldn't cope. I don't blame him.
2. Doctor Who (1963-Present.) It's got drama! It's got adventure! It's got romance! It's got Daleks! EXTERMINATE! This show is worth a watch for anyone. Flip over to your BBC channel and stare at the screen until it shows up. You'll know it when the dramatic theme comes on and the TARDIS soars across the screen--That's a blue police box to you non-viewers.
1. Boy Meets World (1993-2000.) Yes, it's a sitcom-esque show. Yes, it's a bit cheezy. But I've actually learned life lessons from it. And those life lessons have actually worked when I've bothered to utilize them. This show gave me something to look forward to after school for so many years, and I thank it for that.

My Top 10 Favorite Movies

10. The Lion King (1994.) The most gorgeous, totally moving animated film.If I'm in the right mood, it can still make me cry. Hakuna Matata, guys.
9. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975.) You have to see this movie to understand why it's on this list. Warning: contains sex, transvestites, and SPONTANEOUS MUSICAL NUMBERS!
8. Office Space (1999.) So great. Shows just how mind-numbing and soul-sucking regular, everyday life can be. It'll kill you. P.S.: Don't forget your pieces of flair!
7. Airplane! (1980.) One of the wackiest movies you'll ever see. The sense of humor is totally idiotic, and that's just what makes it so watchable. Full of hard-to-follow word play and mile-a-minute sight gags. Don't call me Shirley.
6. UHF (1987.) Exactly the same style as Airplane!, with one added improvement: IT'S GOT WEIRD AL IN IT. WOWZERS. Definitely worth a summer's afternoon watching session. After all...they got it all on UHF.
5. Donnie Darko (2001.) Mind-rending, brain-twisting, and totally intense. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a paranoid-schizophrenic that explores the possibilites of time travel, alternate dimensions, and reality itself along with his "sidekick": a hallucinated man in a terrifying grey bunny suit named Frank.
4. Yellow Submarine (1968.) An animated movie that'll leave your head spinning and your mouth singing along. Follows the The Beatles along (in their prime of popularity and drug usage, for sure) for an adventure to Pepperland, to stop the Blue Meanies from draining all music and color from the world.
3. Little Miss Sunshine (2006.) Focusing on the mis-adventure of a highly dysfunctional family, Little Miss Sunshine is amazing to me because it focuses on things that could actually happen. People really are this weird. It also serves to show that what the world holds dear is complete bunk, and that the only thing that matters is the connections you make with the people you love.
2. Juno (2007.) If I was a flower growing wild and free, all I'd want is you to be my sweet honeybee. This move is amazing! The sense of humor to this...bwhaha. It's great. It has this totally realistic feel to it. I connect with Juno, and as a character, admire her ability to actually get through what would've been a hellish nightmare for a lesser person.
1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986.) The ultimate teenager movie. A little bit a love, an assload of humor, and all of that "fight the power" attitude that we crave so much for ourselves. Who can forget that scene on top of the parade float with Matthew Broderick lip-syncing along to Twist and Shout, getting the whole city to stop what they're doing and dance their butts off? Not me. And not the thousands of other people who still love this movie.

My Top 10 Favorite Bands/Musical Artists

10. Radiohead. I don't know nearly enough about this band, but what I do know about them, I love to pieces. The fact that I've only heard one album of theirs and they made it onto my Top 10 Music list should speak for itself.
9. Reel Big Fish. Similar to the Radiohead entry. I find their ska music to be some of the best and, at times, most "hilarious in an angry sort of way" music I've ever heard. A-W-E-S-O-M-E has never failed to cheer me up.
8. Devo. These guys are in here because their music sounds more pop-synth and computer generated than anything else from the 80s. I appreciate their sense of humor and general dislike towards how the world is run. Take their advice: take time out for fun.
7. Jet. Wow, these guys deserve to be WAY more famous! They've been called the modern Rolling Stones, and I'd have to agree. Powerhouse rock. I can't imagine how amazing they must be in concert.
6. Beck. Trippy and vastly underrated. His music mixes seemingly random beats with beautiful melodies. Listen to his stuff, or better yet, check out his Myspace!
5. Harvey Danger. An indie group whose lead singer, Sean Christopher Nelson, is usually busy performing with some other group or writing a piece of satire. His thoughts amd emotions on subjects is illustrated either literally or metaphorically in his song lyrics. Some of them are indecipherable, but in a good way. Their most famous song is probably Flagpole Sitta.
4. Pink Floyd. A band with a confusing past, but their music is amazing! I regret not having listened to them sooner. Some of their music is instrumental, some of it's just words, but I promise you this: their most famous songs are definitely NOT their best. Money and The Wall are nothin' compared to some of their more obscure works.
3. Hanson. If your first thought upon reading "Hanson" was MMMBop, you've severely missed out on their current advancements. Extremely accomplished and conscious of the needs of others, Hanson's recent efforts have included partnering with a shoe company to offer AIDS relief to Africa. Their newest album is The Walk, and I demand you listen to it posthaste.
2. The Beatles. Inventive. Amazing. Revolutionary. The first band to be massively popular worldwide. There's hardly a song of theirs that I don't love. The fact that two of their band members have died is one of the saddest things to occur...I can only imagine what they could've accomplished, either together or seperately, if George and John were still around.
1. "Weird Al" Yankovic. I find this man to be, possibly, the most creative and attractive human being on the face of the earth. His parodies are 90% on the mark of extreme hilarity. He's directed various things, such as other bands' music videos, a TV show, and his own cult-hit of a feature film. He's sold an ASTRONOMICAL ammount of albums throughout his carreer, all being spurred by the simple and awesome song, "My Bologna." May his career extend to the grave. Maybe even posthumously so.

My Top 10 Favorite Books

10. Can you believe
9. I haven't read enough books
8. To actually have enough
7. For a top 10 list?
6. A top 5 will suffice.
5. The Oath by Frank E. Peretti. (1995.) A novel by a Christian author with the somewhat literal message of "your sin will eat your friggin' soul out", more or less eloquently stated. It's got a dragon and betrayal, and some very disturbing descriptions of flesh wounds.
4. The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. (1961.) Who cares if it's a children's book? It's wildly inventive, full of nit-picky wordplay that I just can't get enough of. I've read it again and again.
3. Cell by Stephen King. (2006.) Wildly fictional...or so it seems. The likelyhood that someone would do something like what happened in the book is low, but the potential of it actually happening is quite high. Technology is amazing, and dangerously so.
2. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams. (1979-1992) Entails The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Resturant at the End of the Universe, Life, the Universe, and Everything, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, and Mostly Harmless. A sci-fi-comedy series with no shortage of sarcasm and satire towards the human race and our dearly held daily habits. I've read the series twice.
1. The Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling. (1997-2007)
Entails Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Wow, how cliche can I get? Still....this series of books has never failed to make me want to read the whole book through in one day, staying up to stupidly late hours to do so. I love it with my soul, and I've read the whole series through 3 times. THREE TIMES. That's a lot.

Well, there you have it! Amid distractions, food, conversations, and movies, I've managed to whittle away my afternoon by making this list.
I've also considerably cheered myself up in the process. Huzzah.

Some ending statements: Remember, the spice must flow, the calls are coming from inside the house, you are the banana king, only you can prevent forest fires, and last, but certainly not least....
Don't panic.

Entry completion time: 15:06

Variety Is The Spice In My Meatloaf

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:08:06 GMT

Because who doesn't like a little variety?
Or meatloaf?
(Vegans.)
Anyways, there's a pretty surprising variety of stuff on TV, if you ever bother to stay awake past the commercials these days. Some of those commercial breaks are about six to seven minutes long. For the average youth and/or short-spanned American, that's eternity.

Take, for example, the everlasting gameshow genre. Somehow, it's evolved over the years from the simple guess-and-win style of "What's My Line?" to the sort of just plain weird shit we see nowadays, like "Beauty and the Geek", wherein wonderfully weird individuals are stripped of their uniqueness and conformed to the world's standards.

That's just one thing that bugs me. We have shows about tanning. We have shows about adulterers. We have shows about pet grooming, for Christ's sake. It's not necessarily the variety that irritates me, per se, but the lack of imagination displayed in the variety. Show developers have run out of decent plots, and they're exhausting all potential ideas regardless of whether or not they're any good.

All in all, I'm just waiting for the shit saturation point to get to the level where watching TV is hilarious in that B-movie horror film sort of way: It's trying so hard to be serious and awesome that you just laugh at it and kick it down a stairwell.

God Bless Ahmerrhika

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 03:02:07 GMT

So I had an interesting day. Drew two or three pictures, only one of them being anything I can post online.

I woke up at 8:45 after 4 hours of sleep and went with my grandmother to help serve the homeless a tasty lunch of chicken and mixed vegetable tostadas, slathered with mayonnaise. No, I didn't make that dish up, and yes, it was actually tastier than it sounds.
Mexicans can make anything taste good with enough lard in it. Also, I'm half Mexican, so I can totally make that sort of stereotype and not get beaten down by a sackful of oranges.

But I digress.

Anyways, here, straight from the News box on the Earthlink start page, is an article so...so...demonstrative of just exactly what our country thinks is really really important that it had to be shared to whomever may read this.

---------------------------------------

PASADENA - A proposal to restrict metallic balloons has, well, ballooned into a political cause.

Joined by Buster Balloon and Annie Banannie and spurred on by radio personalities John and Ken of KFI-AM 640, about 100 people converged Wednesday at Memorial Park in Pasadena, where several vowed to fight a bill that would restrict the use of metallic balloons, often referred to as Mylar balloons.

"It's overkill," said balloon vendor who wanted to be identified as "Annie Banannie."

The bill by state Sen. Jack Scott, D-Pasadena, would not outlaw metallic balloons, but it would make it illegal to fill them with helium.

Scott has argued that flying metallic balloons often soar for miles and can get caught in power lines, triggering outages.

Since this past weekend alone, metallic balloons have caused several power outages within Southern California Edison's service area, according to officials from Scott's office.

But the protesters accused Scott of being a party pooper. They brought along a balloon effigy of the lawmaker, as well as children in strollers festooned with the helium-filled metallic orbs.

"If (legislators) spent the money on educating people about balloons that would do the same thing" as restricting them, "Banannie" said.

South Pasadena resident Steven Guerrero said Scott's proposal goes too far.

"(Outages) are such a rare occurrence - there's no need for a law against balloons," he said.

Scott, who authored the bill on behalf of utility companies, said he is not trying to rain on anyone's balloon parade.

"I'm not trying to stop parties or anything like that," he said. "This is a serious problem, costing millions of dollars over time."

Greg Simay, assistant general manager of Burbank Water & Power, which has complained to Scott about the financial toll of metallic balloons, said the toys can wreak havoc on businesses whenever they trigger outages.

"Mylar balloons are a little bit like Russian roulette - they can land harmlessly on a tree, or they can short-circuit a line or hit an electrical station," he said.

While some power companies are moving their power lines underground, Simay said metallic balloon manufacturers should do their part to prevent outages.

But Pete McDonough, a spokesman for the Balloon Council, said that the number of outages attributed to Mylar balloons is relatively low, considering the huge numbers of them that are sold each year.

"I think its just silly," McDonough said. "It's hard to imagine the rationale behind banning balloons."

Scott's bill has passed the state Senate and is now expected to go to the Assembly for a vote.

By Robert S. Hong, Staff Writer

The Internet Is For FUN!

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 20:03:21 GMT

Everyone! Are you an internet nerd?

Are you really?

Have you REALLY seen the whole internet?

Oh yeah?

Well then.
Test your geeky mettle by watching the music video to Weezer's new song, "Pork and Beans".

It features a collection of internet celebrities and, in the words of Albinoblacksheep.com, "If you can name everything from in the video from the dancing baby to "leave Britney alone", you've spent the last 10 years online. Go outside."

(But it's so bright and scary out there! And that giant orb that hangs in the sky...it's out there every time I am...it's STALKING me. o___o *complains about it on IRC*)

EDIT: I was eating cheese, and I tore of a piece of cheese from my slice of cheddar...I had to scan it.
It looks JUST like America.

The Old Ultraviolence

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:45:50 GMT

    A Clockwork Orange is one of the most unsettling movies you'll ever see.

    Thrust into the unsuspecting world by the marvelously mad Stanley Kubrick in 1971, A Clockwork Orange portrays a brutal view of a cold, unsympathetic future filled with all the things you'd expect a dystopian society to be filled with; filled with prejudice, filled with gangs, filled with violence, filled with sex.

    Sex does in fact play a large part in this movie or, rather, rape does. Both Kubrick and the author of the original book theorized that in the near future, society would be so used to sex and nudity that it would be widely prevalent and, indeed, accepted.
Let it go without saying that nudity is heavily utilized throughout the film.
(Oxymoronical sentence!)

    The main character is a young man named Alex. (Whether he is a protagonist or antagonist is up to you, really.) He is the leader of a group of teens who he collectively refers to as his 'droogs.' With his lackeys trustily equipped by his side, Alex goes into the town and terrorizes man and woman alike, raping those he finds attractive and beating those he does not.

    Through events that shall remain unspoken for the sake of saving the tasty bits of the film for you, the reader, to uncover, his so-called 'droogs' eventually turn on Alex. He is imprisoned and studied heavily.

    Being the conniving bastard that he is, Alex feigns repentance to the prison's religious go-to guy, who puts in a good word for Alex with the head of the joint. Our intrepid hero (or anti-hero) is subsequently chosen to be the test subject in a new, controversial method of "curing a person of themselves": after being injected with his daily dose of "vitamins" (which is actually a drug with the purpose of making the receiver completely sick to their stomachs), he is strapped into a chair with his eyelids forced open by sharp metal prongs and is made to view videos of the most horrific rapings and killings. The desired psychological effect is eventually achieved, and poor Alex is now so conditioned that the slightest hint of violence towards another human being (or, indeed, anything) causes him to sputter pitifully whilst doubling over in pain.

    I won't tell you of the rest of the film, for it would spoil it, but let it be known that various uppances do come, and most of the loose ends are satisfactorily tied into neat, bloody bows.

    If you're strong of heart, stomach, and loins, I recommend seeing this movie immediately.
Though a bit extreme in imagery, it shows an exaggerated (nearly satirical, it seems) view of the worst bits of society; as though one had flung human nature onto a table and dissected it to show only the most revolting of its organs to their eager, drooling audience.

    We've all got a bit of a curious monster in us that feeds on the nasty, naughty, sick and wrong things in our daily lives. We've also all got a bit of a philosopher, pondering humanity and what could even be considered "right", "wrong", or "sick" in our daily lives.

    So go, rent and/or illegally download A Clockwork Orange.

    Feed your monster and show your philosopher what's what.

The Saddest Fruit

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:20:49 GMT

On a whim, I did a YouTube search the other day for "animation", thinking to myself that I would surely get some hilarious results to giggle raucously about at 2:30 in the morning.
What I got, instead, was a video that so moved me that I ended up sniffling about it for somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 minutes.

Kiwi!

This video made me think. What do we want most out of life? What do I want most out of life?
More than that, are we willing to dedicate a good portion of our time and efforts, sometimes even without any help but what we can provide for ourselves, to achieve that goal?
Is the goal even worth it?
If I died without completing that goal...would I feel like a failure?
While just a cartoon, this short video serves to pose all these questions to the viewer before they even realize they're being inquired of.
His dream was to fly.
He succeeded in that dream.
Even at the dearest cost.
Do the values, ideals, and ideas you hold mean enough to you that you would die for them?
And if not.......should they?

The Donkey Sleeps Tonight, OR Elephantom of the White House

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 05:46:34 GMT

I won't lie to you.

I'm pretty much entirely uninformed about the elections and Presidential candidates.
I couldn't tell you the difference between a Democrat and a Republican, other than the fact that the stereotypes of the parties are a free-thinking bisexual dude with an arts degree and a redneck with a NRA membership, respectively.

So here, completely without sense, is Agent J's PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE PARAGRAPHERY, or PCP. (But not that PCP.)

Barack Obama: Seems like an okay guy. I watched him a few times on CNN and whatnot. He seems like he'd do our country some good. I like the cut of his jib. He speaks very confidently, and people are very eager to follow him. Now, I'm not one to trust the crowd, but for some reason I think they're right about this guy.

John McCain: I've seen this guy talk. He seems like he's a good guy at heart, but man is he old. He's some sort of geriatric Lunesta in a human body. I'm sure he's got good plans and morals, but frankly...I'm not sure I really want another republican president. Let's take our chances with the donkey side, eh?

Hillary Clinton: He/She's out of the race, isn't he/she? Eh. Either way, I don't like him/her. Something about him/her/it...unsettles me. He/she just seems like there's something devious hidden deep within his/her/their brain. Very suspicious. Gives me the jibblies AND the willies.

There we go! Just a little bit of silly nonsense, guaranteed to offend those who actually care about politics.
But that's the thing about politics and comedy, isn't it?
If you don't offend at least a few people, you're obviously doing it wrong.

Episode II: The Phone Stores

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 07:34:18 GMT

Yeah, okay, that title made no sense.
Whatevs.
Anyways! In celebration of my new LJ, I have doodled a doodle. It's me as a neko/cat/soup ingredient, whatever you like to call them. :3

Whoa! Just a second.

Wh-wha? Who are you? o_O

I am the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Internet. You just used the smiley ":3".

........Yes. Yes I did. What's your problem with this? *nervous look* (Sorry about this interruption, folks..)

Well, there's nothing wrong with THAT smiley, but don't use it carelessly. It could be mistaken or accidentally made into something far, far worse.

........What on EARTH are you talking about?!

Do you know what would happen if....

....

I added ONE OF THESE!? ">"

*gasp* No! You...you can't mean....DON'T DO IT, MAN! YOU'RE A FOOL!

YES, I WILL DO IT! AND HERE IT IS!

*sputters*

>:3

JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A LION! GET IN THE CAR!

----------------------------------

Sorry about that! Okay, really, here's the drawing.

---------------------------------

Aside from the cuteness, I was battling random bouts of self-loathing and depression today, on and off.
There were also moments of extreme happiness and a "WHEE!" outlook on life.

To give you a handle on how crazy I am: I made brownies. I was happy about this. I had a few. I saw a movie. The movie had attractive women in it. I became inwardly depressed and hating and demanded permission to throw out the rest of the brownies as soon as possible. My mother declined. I told her she was inconsiderate.

There's more I could say, but I like actually having friends, so I'll spare the details.

It was a weird day.

Stardate: A New Beginning

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 08:23:03 GMT

Hello there! Greetings! Salutations! And other such things.
Roll up, roll up, for the magical mystery that is my LiveJournal.
Come one, come all! Come a select few for a limited time only at participating locations!

My name, I shan't reveal, because I have some very creepy and paranoid parents (seriously), but you can call me Agent J, or J, or Jay, or Experiment 42, or Zaphod Beeblebrox. Whatever floats your boat.

Before you wonder, yes. I'll answer for you. This is one of those teenager's blogs that serve no real purpose or meaning. I'll post about whatever interesting tidbits catch my eye for that day. Mainly, this is a test.
A test for myself.
A test to see if ANYTHING can possibly keep my attention for more than a few weeks at a time.
Because it usually can't.

Today, this entry is simply some introductory material.
To avoid pasting contact information for the world to see, I'll make you all a deal.
If you really, actually want to contact me, you comment/message me with whatever username you'd like me to contact you at.
I have Yahoo!, MSN, and AIM, and I promise to add you in return for surrendering such information to me. (You're a brave soul if you do so. The internets are rough, wear a helmet and a jock strap. Even if you're a girl.)

I think I'll be ironic in this entry and make a list of all the other websites you could be at right now instead of at my blog. It'll be a post with a Marvin the Paranoid Android style of self-resentment.
Only not, because I can in no way be that depressed, ever.
Ever.

Okay! First off. A website titled, kindly enough, Exploding Dog.com. I believe the man who runs the site's name is Sam Brown. Anyways, his website has pictures that he's drawn of awesome stick figures inspired by picture titles sent to him in emails by fans. You can waste afternoons here.

Second, Homestar Runner.com. This is a website with a cartoon by two clever dudes called The Brothers Chaps. The main character is a white thing with no arms. Highly reccomended.

Third, Newgrounds.com. "Everything by everyone". THOUSANDS of flash cartoons to while away precious moments of your life with.

Fourth, we have the illustrious Albino Black Sheep.com. Basically the same as Newgrounds, but a bit smaller and easier to get around. I like it.

Our fifth stop on the world wide web brings us to Deviant Art.com, which is currently THE art community. Duh.
Check it out, and support some geeky online artists, like myself.

Sixth takes us to Weebl's Stuff.com, which is yet another flash website, this time all done by a small group of guys. Very hilarious. Make sure to check out Magical Trevor, the (in)famous Badger Badger flash, and, of course, Weebl and Bob.

Seventh isn't so much a time waster as it is a lifesaver. Meebo.com, the web's premier online instant messaging service. Log into AIM, MSN, Yahoo!, ICQ, and more, without having to download a program.

Eighth is Tomorrow's Nobody.com. The four guys on this site are very much NOT nobodies. They're hilarious and creative and masters of the innuendo. Definitely not family friendly. I recommend the Tomorrow's Nobodies cartoon series and the David Forgets series.

Ninth is another happy website called Explosm.net. (Whoa, is that the first .net site on here? Really? Wild.) Similar to Tomorrow's Nobody in humor, but with a superior comic strip called Cyanide and Happiness. Read it 'till your sides jiggle with amusement. Also, they write articles. Word.

Tenth is this page. I can't reveal what it is to you. I promise there's nothing disgusting or sexual. You simply have to see it for yourself. Then go show it to your friends.

That's it for this post!
Thanks for readin'.
I'll be posting more.
Lots....lots more.